Where the Lost Heart Wanders
by Chronic Guardian
Summary: "They shall have stars at elbow and foot. Though they go mad, they shall be sane. Though they sink through the sea, they shall rise again. Though Lovers be lost, love shall not; and death shall have no dominion." -Dylan Thomas. A story about Repliku, and the place fakes like him will ever find solace. [Complete]


**Where the Lost Heart Wanders**

}::By Chronic Guardian::{

I'm broken. Everything is gone. It's alright though... it was all fake anyway. My memories, my body, my heart, everything about me was only made to be like him. I tried to be something different, I really did. But in the end I was still just a replica, and an inferior one at that.

But now I'm gone. Now it's over.

Or is it? I thought I'd just sink into the abyss, close my eyes and be gone in an instant. It'd be easier that way. I can't tell where I am now, but it's warm and full of light. I saw it in the distance the moment I faded into the dark. It seems feeble every now and then, but there's something safe about this place.

I've thought about it before, or tried to anyway, it's hard to think when you're broken, when all that's left of you is a heart that isn't even real. Something comes back though, something from my last conversation with the real thing.

"_What happens when a fake like me dies? Where will my heart go?"_

He looked at me then, something like pity in his voice as he said, _"probably to the same place mine will."_

I smile a little. _A faithful replica to the end, _I repeat my own words. If this is where Riku's going to end up when his time comes, I think he'll be happy. There's no darkness here, no Ansem lurking in the shadows.

For a long time after that, I wander. Maybe it's days, maybe it's years. I can't tell. The sun doesn't set here. As I go, the world takes more definite shape. Most places there's a shallow layer of water. The temperature hovers between warm and cool. I haven't been wearing my shoes, just so I can feel the sand underneath with each step. It helps me focus, helps me calm down. There's more to look at now, but I'm still alone in this empty place.

Then one day, I run into someone. He's sitting on one of the islands, watching the small waves with his back against a palm tree. He hears me coming and turns in place, smiling and waving me over to where he is.

"Do I know you?"

He shakes his head, blonde spikes drifting with the motion.

"Then why...?"

"It's gotten lonely here," he says, turning back to gazing over the waters. "There used to be a lot of memories, a chain of connections that crossed a dozen worlds. But... something's taken them away. I was happy to see you coming. You remind me of someone from the memories."

"Memories... Are we still in the castle?" I ask. The rooms there can embody memories, maybe that's what he's talking about.

"No, we're in his heart," the boy replies. "It's... special as far as hearts go. See, his heart is a sanctuary to people like us."

"Like us?" I cock my head to the side, more than a little curious.

The boy leans back and smiles again. "Yeah. Lost hearts. We didn't disappear normally, something different happened with us."

"Hmph," I return the smile a little. "I guess you're right then. Not a whole lot's normal about me. It's just... I thought when I died only darkness awaited me. I... I thought I'd be lucky if it all just ended instead. But here, safe in the light... Sure it's empty, but I don't deserve a place like this. "

"Of course not," the boy laughs. "No one does. That's what's special about Sora. He's the friend we don't deserve, but we all need."

"Sora..." I massage the back of my neck as I try to remember the boy attached to the name. He's... friendly. Maybe not the brightest, but he's got a heart like no other. A heart that brings light to the dark, forgotten corners. The boy next to the palm tree reminds me of him.

"You knew him?"

I nod. "Yeah... the guy won't take no for an answer when it comes to his friends." _Even the fakes_...

The boy seems happy at this. "Good, he hasn't changed then. I was afraid that all the emptiness meant he was losing to the dark or something."

"No, he's just sleeping."

He falls silent and we just stare out over the small waves and white sand for a while. I don't mind. I can rest easy here.

"Hey," the boy speaks after what feels like ages. I think he might've disappeared entirely at some point, but I'm not sure. He holds up something in his hand. "Look."

He's holding a star shaped charm formed out of shells. It looks like Namine's Paupu charm, but not quite as refined.

I squint at the bauble. "Where'd that come from?"

"Dunno," the boy admits. "Maybe the memories are coming back."

I look around. Sure enough, the empty horizons are being replaced with brilliant skies; star scattered twilights and pure blue swaths brush by each other in a tangled flux over towns and caverns and castles.

"Go check it out," the boy tells me, still leaning against the palm tree. "They're beautiful."

I give him a discerning look. "You're not coming?"

"Naw... I'll pass this time."

I shrug and go on my way. My legs are a little unsteady at first, but soon enough I'm moving just fine, striding through the luminous halls of connected hearts. They look strange, like places, tastes, and people all rolled into a wave that washes over my senses. Every time it does, I feel the extension reaching, growing, connecting to someone outside. Each one is a firm, vibrant treasure.

It's there that I find her.

I almost miss her among the overwhelming buds of memories. She's different from the others. Instead of an outgoing strand, she's isolated and curled up into herself. I can feel her pain as the landscape solidifies and we find ourselves on the islands at sunset. She feels like sunset, vibrant but distant, beautiful but waning.

She wears the same sort of coat that the Organization members did: a hooded, black, shin length thing with silver drawstrings and a zipper. Again, she's not like the other memories. She's more like the boy by the palm tree; another lost heart.

I wonder how she got here, who she is to Sora. She's not Naminé, not unless Naminé was admitted into the Organization.

Suddenly, she looks up at me. I can't see most of her face because of her hood being up, but I can tell she's anxious. "Riku?" she asks.

I grimace and shake my head. "Sorry. Just a fake."

"A fake?"

I slowly nod. "Yeah, a replica. Not the real thing."

She gathers herself a little. "A replica?"

"Do I have to spell everything out for you?" I offer her a wry smile that stings to wear. "I'm just a copy. Vexen made me to imitate the real Riku. But y'know? I guess he missed something, 'cause the real thing could still beat me no sweat."

Well... maybe not no sweat. I put up a decent fight.

"Vexen made you?" her voice has a strange urgency to it. "In Castle Oblivion?"

"Yup... Why?"

A storm of emotions flow through her, settling on a strange sort of relief.

"You're... I mean _we're_... we're both replicas then."

I recoil slightly. "You're _not_ Riku."

"What? Oh, no of course not," she says, smiling a little. "I'm a different sort of replica. I was made as a blank slate to be imprinted on by Sora and Roxas."

"Roxas?"

"You don't know him? Sora's Nobody," she explains. "He's my..."

"Boyfriend?"

"Hey!" She's flustered at that. "No. No, no, no. Nobodies can't love, remember? Besides, he's more like a brother. Like... Axel."

What the...? "You know Axel?" I barely keep my surprise in check. Not that it matters when we can literally feel eachother's reactions.

"Spiky red hair?"

I nod.

"Yeah," she smiles again; that warm, fragile little smile. "He's one of my best friends."

"Funny choice for a friend," I snort.

Something in her flares up at that and her smile dissolves. "He's one of the best friends _anyone_ could ever have!" she states to me defensively. "He's just... always getting stuck with the icky jobs."

"Not when he pushed 'em off on me."

"...What do you mean?"

Thankfully, my mind catches up with my mouth and I don't go into the details of Zexion's immolation. "...He used me once."

"And you can't forgive him." It's not a question.

"...Yeah."

"You're more bitter than the real Riku."

I shrug at her apt observation, even though we both know she's right on the mark. "I have my reasons."

"Everyone does, especially the real Riku," she says firmly. "It's still up to you whether or not you give in to those reasons."

She's not like a sunset, I decide slowly. She's more like that dusky moment before dawn when there's a dim light pervading the world, but no sunlight yet. Not that I've personally ever seen a sunrise before, but the ones in Sora's memories were all oddly enchanting.

"Yes... I'm incomplete like you," she goes on. "I won't be remembered by my friends, my life was short and painful, and the worlds are probably better off without me. But here I'm almost... I don't know..."

"Glad you existed?"

"Because I know everything is going to end okay," she agrees, nodding. "But not just for them... for us too. It still hurts inside, but I know he'll make it alright. He's the only one that can."

"You know?" I ask cynically. "Or you hope?"

She gives me a look of innocent curiosity, so I elaborate.

"Is it really all gonna be okay just because it's Sora? Just because he's the only one who _can _doesn't necessarily mean that he _will_."

_Who wants to save a bunch of fakes anyway?_

I don't say the last part. I'm not sure if it's because I don't want to believe it myself or if I just don't want to hurt her feelings. She frustrates me, but at the same time I know she's someone I should protect. Someone the real thing would protect.

"...What's Riku like now?"

The change in subject doesn't bother her too much. She stared at me unflinching all through my last rant so I'm pretty sure she's unintimidated by me. Does she pity me? Maybe.

"He's fighting with the dark," she responds, looking off into the distance as if she can see him there. "But he understands what it means to choose. The only way he'll lose to it is if he decides to give in."

"Must be nice... deciding who you are."

Her hands drift up to her chest, clasped as if in prayer. "...He let me decide."

"For him?" The real thing was getting soft...

"No, for me. He let me choose, let me change my fate from being nothing more than a pawn. Even if I was just a replica, he treated me like I was..."

"...Real."

"..."

"...Are we?"

She shakes her head slowly. "I don't know."

The memories shiver, convulsing under the flow of her battered heart. I can feel it's broken, like mine, but there's also so much more to it.

Maybe I'm still on the fence about me, but I think she's real enough.

She smiles back. "Thank you."

I smirk wryly. "You can read me like a book, huh?"

"Sorry," she laughs a little. "This place just... makes people honest I guess. There's an openness that let's me feel what you're feeling."

"It's Sora, isn't it?"

She nods firmly. "Yes. He's... well, I've had his memories inside me for as long as _I_ can remember and even if they didn't fit right... there's just something about them."

Images of the patchwork sky over the memory buds surface in my mind. "...Yeah." There's definitely something special about this place.

"But y'know... the most exciting part is yet to come."

I give her a curious look. Her feelings shift to anticipation, as if she just can't wait to share this next part with me. "...That so?"

"This isn't where we end."

"What?" I blink and wonder if it's possible to mishear in this setting. "Where else would we...?"

"On my way in, I passed something. I think Naminé put it there." She waves her fingers. Like paintbrushes, they conjure up blotchy images that solidify. "It's a beginning, a trail back to the way things should be. And part of it is meant for the ones like us."

"...That's not a good joke."

Her emotions flush. "I'm serious! Here, walk with me."

She grabs my hand before I can protest and leads us down another walkway of memory. It's a place shrouded in a dusky layer of ocean fog, but like before I can sense my way even when my eyes fail me.

There are pieces there, glimpses of things that never happened to Sora but he still carries. Three friends who all lost their way, and another three like them. Around the memories I feel the hurt and brokenness, but also a quiet anticipation. It's a hope for what they know Sora can bring about.

None of them are for me though.

"Naminé did this?"

"Seems like it."

"Figures. Even _she_ forgot about me."

"Riku!"

"Not Riku. Just a replica."

"'And a poor one at that', Right?" she gives me strange look. "So then what do you wanna be called?"

"Nothing, I have no name."

"Sure you do. I mean, _I_ have one; and you don't seem any worse off than me."

"... Repliku."

She recoils at the taste of the name and her face screws up."Seems a little stiff. Howabout Nox?"

"No, Repliku fits." It's a sad, strange mashup, just like me.

"Okay, fine, Repliku," she still doesn't like it, but she at least knows it's not worth fighting over. "Maybe Naminé did forget, but I know once Sora's on the trail there'll be no stopping him. It's safe and warm here in his heart, but that's not where we belong. So when Sora comes to free us, I'm sure you'll be coming too."

"Coming where?" Outside of Sora's memories, I can't really think of anywhere I'm actually wanted.

"I don't know," she admits it without hesitation. "I... I just know there's more to it. Our stories aren't over yet."

"...I hope you're right."

Silence follows. It's not uncomfortable; if there were anything more to say we'd have felt it. When the light starts waning again though, we've drifted apart and I can't sense her anymore. What I can sense is something evil reaching in, creeping like the dying of the light at the end of the day.

And I'm the only one around to stop it.

At first I don't know what to do, how to stop it, but I reach inside anyway. Darkness doesn't belong here. After all this time there's a little bit of Sora's light in me, so I think I can use that. I might not be able to stop it, but I can at least slow it down.

But the moment I press my small light against it, I know I'm not alone. There's someone else fighting this darkness outside, someone else watching over Sora's heart. Someone I know. I smile as I whisper.

"A faithful Replica to the very end."

**}{**

"_As the light of many worlds falls softly on their skin, and days pass here like minutes, one moment of brilliant daylight will shift into the next. A flash of dark behind some distant lost moon and then it is over. Like the pause before waking, sleep is replaced by light and life and hope. It is the light of one far away sun that has beckoned them to leave and the hope of home that has lifted them from slumber. The hope that though the dark may come, the sun also rises."_

_-Brave Saint Saturn, the Light of Things Hoped for_


End file.
